


insecurity

by orphan_account



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: M/M, angstyish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 02:10:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15499998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: sometimes life knocks craig down, but john's always there to pick him back up.





	insecurity

it seemed so impossible to john that craig could ever be insecure.

 

he was a perfect male specimen, gorgeous green eyes, a smile that could melt ice, and a body that any guy could kill for. mix that with a personality that puts you at ease, and a heart of gold, and you have craig. he was pretty much perfect in every aspect, and god, john was lucky to call craig his.

 

but nobody’s perfect, and john knew this well.

 

underneath all the glimmer was a man who was constantly getting fucked by life and having obstacles thrown at him from all directions.

 

and with that came insecurities that craig couldn’t help but develop.

 

-

 

john was sat on the couch, watching a youtube video, his vape sitting comfortably in his hand, when craig sat next to him silently, eyes cast downward. john’s eyes slid over to him, and he put the vape and his phone into his hoodie pocket.

 

“craig?” he asked, turning towards the quiet male, concern in his eyes.

 

“why do you stay with me?” craig mumbled, playing with his fingers nervously.

 

“what?” john asked, tilting his head, not having heard craig properly.

 

“why do you stay with me?” craig repeated, louder this time.

 

john’s eyebrow raised in confusion, and he was about to reply when craig cut him off.

 

“i’m annoying, i’m stupid, i’m ugly, i have no creativity, i’m not individualistic, i’m boring. there’s nothing attractive or intriguing about me. why are you still here?” craig asked, tears not yet in his eyes but john could hear his voice thickening.

 

“why?” craig repeated, looking up at john, tears finally beginning to well up in his broken, green eyes. “is it pity? am i just a toy? a charity case? why is a garbage person like me with someone as amazing as you?”

 

“because you mean everything to me.” john responded without missing a beat. he sat up a little, moving closer to craig and taking his shaking hands into his own. “because in my eyes, you are my definition of perfect. you’re the guy i want to spend the rest of my life with. because you’re kind, generous, strong, humble, hilarious, genuine— you’re everything i adore in a person and more, craig.”

 

“you’ve been there for me when i needed someone, you understand me, you accept me, you complete me, craig. you are who i consider to be my soulmate, the person i love unconditionally. you’re not a charity case, or someone i ever want to use. i love you, craig, all of you. everything about you. i love you.”

 

john squeezed craig’s hands when he finished, bringing them to his lips one at a time, brushing gentle kisses to the back of his hands.

 

craig was silent, eyes cast downward once more. john feared he’d said something wrong, and he tensed when he heard craig’s sniffles.

 

what he didn’t expect was the choked “thank you” that came from craig as he lunged forward and buried his face into john’s chest, sobs wracking his body. john relaxed a little, cooing soothingly, as he pulled craig closer to him, rubbing circles into craig’s back gently as he whispered soft reassurances into his ear. craig clung to john tightly, everything he’d bottled up over the course of a few weeks flooding out, his feelings and insecurities soaking into the fabric of john’s hoodie.

 

“i’m sorry.” craig hiccuped, slightly muffled by the hoodie. “i’m sorry this happened again.”

 

john hushed craig quickly, pulling back a little and taking his face into his hands, tilting his head upwards.

 

“baby, there’s no need to apologise.” john said firmly, “life gets to us sometimes; things get rough, comments sections turn sour, supporters turn into haters. it’s okay to be upset over things like that. you’re only human, babe, you have feelings, and as much as you want to brush all of it off, sometimes you can’t. and that’s okay.”

 

“but—“ craig started, only to be silenced by a gentle, comforting kiss from john that made him relax.

 

“no buts.” john mumbled against his lips. “the only “but” i want to see is yours.”

 

craig giggled against john’s lips, making the american smile gently at the sound.

 

“thank you again, by the way.” craig said, pulling away fully and resting his forehead against john’s, tired eyes closing. “you always know how to calm me down.”

 

“it’s a talent.” john joked, making craig laugh once more. he wrapped an arm around craig’s waist and slowly laid back, bringing craig down with him. he shifted to get more comfortable, and craig shifted as well, burying his face into the crook of john’s neck, the scent of his cologne combined with the faint scent of strawberry from his vape lulling making craig a bit drowsy.

 

“i love you.” the brit said, pressing sloppy, sleepy kisses to john’s neck, making him chuckle at the feeling.

 

“love you too, babe.” he hummed, and the two slipped into a peaceful, well deserved nap.


End file.
